"Bridget's Situation is Tenuous!" Dr. Sean! Part 1

This story about Bridget's whole situation was suppose to start at the beginning, even have part of the blog entry written. Rather, it is now going to start in the middle. It was around one year ago right now that those words in the title were spoken to Nancy and I by a kind young doctor named Sean. But let me at least start this story at the beginning.

Last year was a very crazy for me. Lots of stuff going on with Bridget and on top of that, my dad and step mom where now moving into assisted living after my step mom's stroke( You ain't lived until you move elder, reluctant folks to assisted living) and I was in the process of getting their house up for sale. One look in your own crawl space and you will know what a major task this was. I had seen Bridget earlier that day for a quick stop over between sales calls. I was deeply worried as she was struggling with breath and had slept very little the night before. Bridget stated she was going to get checked that day, and just like a guy, I said that's good sweetheart! Wrong Move.

Enter mom a bit later with all the right moves, see's her and takes her straight down to Northwestern Hospital downtown where all her doctors and records are. Nancy calls me and tells me what she is doing and said she will get back in touch when she knows more. A few hours go by and Nancy calls again and said " I am getting scared, they are talking about incubating her, please get down here as soon as you can!" Nancy never overacts, so I knew it was serious. I cancelled my appointment with the realtor for my dad's house and headed down to what I did not know!

This had started when just days before Bridget and her family returned from Florida and she had been cleared down there from pneumonia and so we were just considering she had a very bad cold. But Bridget's immune systems is compromised and we did not understand how serious this could be. Now we are told they are going to admit her and will have to incubate her. I will recall as best I can, but remember I am old with poor memory and I was scared, so a lot was a blur in that early evening. Plus a year has passed and this is not the kind of memory you say let's pop open a bottle of wine and reminisce!

When I arrived it was quite clear that Nancy had made a life saving choice ( this is why I think women should run the world) and that this thing was serious and growing more so by the minute. As best as I can recall, by the time I got there Bridget is already in ICU and I think I found Nancy in the waiting room there, I think? As I write this, I am amazed I do not remember seeing her for the first time since the wheels had started to come off. You would think that would be etched in my mind. Next, we were told they are getting her set up to incubate and this should be around an hour. Then it started! A parade of doctors and nurses venturing out to see us to tell us that there is more that needs to be done, because she is getting worse. What started out that morning as a severe cold now is confirmed as pneumonia and her breathing was very difficult. Next they come out and tell us that her whole body has gone into septic shock: really, what the hell is septic shock? We have been so blessed to be healthy in our family life, now in a matter of hours, we are getting medical terms thrown at us that you only hear on Grey's Anatomy, but this is real and its our baby girl!

Dr. Sean is so young, but shows compassion beyond his years. He is soft spoken and patiently states to us the medical condition name, what that condition means to the body and what they are going to do next. Ok, Doctor, thank you, what else could you say. Your numb, shocked, its all surreal, it can't be real, but then you look around and it is. You tell yourself and each other, its going to be ok, you pray. You waiting on pins and needles for them to come out and say she is stable, things look good she will be ok. And you pray, hard! Even plead!

But no, Sean returns and I can tell by the look on his face its not good. Even with the ventilator, she needs more relief, so they put drain tubes in each of her lungs. Ok, Sean thank you! More prayers, more painful waiting. You look around the ICU waiting room and do eye locks with other family members, and give a small smile and nod, each of us sensitive to the suffering and fear we're all feeling. One man I see sleeping on a couch the whole time eventually wakes up. I don't pay to much attention beyond the smile and nod. Then, a bit later he approaches Nancy and I to show us a photo he has take of us, sitting next to each other, holding hands, each of us in our silent thoughts and bargaining with God. He tells us he can see how much we care, what is our story? The relief is nice, we share. This man is a doctor himself, from Milwaukee. His seemingly healthy son has been admitted with leukemia, he's been there for days and his son is still on life support. Crazy thing is, it helps that someone else is suffering like you are and understands, but can still reach out and show compassion, pay attention Ron, life lesson here.

At first you long for the doctor to come out and give you the good news update. Not anymore, no news is good news. But here comes Sean again. Bridget's bodily organs are shutting down and they are also now going to put her on dialysis and a multitude of antibiotics, 12 to be exact, because they don't know what virus we're fighting. Sean is struggling to give his explanation of the diagnosis, hoping we will get it. We do but we don't, can you understand? He starts asking about immediate family, husband, siblings? Yes, husband, home with the kids, yes 2 sisters. Sean says, you need to tell they to come down here "as her situation is tenuous." I get exactly what he is saying, but I'm in to much shock to respond. Nancy is still pushing back looking for a different answer. She walks away, I ask Sean explain " tenuous?" Sean: We don't think she will make it through the night!

Most people don't have to face this scenario in a lifetime, this is the second time for us in 18 months. I get Craig, Bridget's husband, on the phone and I believe I give him the mile high view and give the phone to Sean for the details. Nancy is working on a baby sitter for the kids. My wonderful brother and sister in law, Kathy and Greg jump at the chance to help. Cathy will watch the kids and Greg demands to drive Craig to the hospital. Another teaching moment for Ron, when thanks are extended, Greg says, no, its was his honor to help! And this is all happening on a work night starting at around 9:30PM. This guy should run for President.

The next move we got sort of ripped on for. Parenting kicks in, this is bad, protect your other kids from this pain, cause they have the own life's, we can handle this. Noble and off the charts wrong. Dr. Sean confides in Craig, he doesn't think we get it. We do, just want to protect the kids. One kids suffering is too much. Think of all the logistics it will take for them to get down here and have work tomorrow? Yeah, really that is what was going on in our heads, again, we got it, but we didn't? Now sharing with your children that their sister is dying and you got to get here. I would like to explain what that feels like, but I cannot. Again, I believe I called them, but I don't remember. And I am just figuring that out now as I write this.

Dr. Sean: "You can come in now and see Bridget, but brace yourself!" Part 2 to come shortly!